


Those Few Things

by ObtuseDunderfuck



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mental Illness, Oneshot, Short, Vague mentions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-06 22:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12827559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseDunderfuck/pseuds/ObtuseDunderfuck
Summary: Dirk and Jake get ready in the morning. Jake has certain opinions about Dirk, and Dirk has certain opinions about himself. To Jake's surprise, Dirk actually shares his feelings for once. Also, Dirk's hair is down, so that's fun.





	Those Few Things

Dirk ate an absurd amount of junkfood and canned food, and drank orange soda almost exclusively. Jake had managed to hassle water into his boyfriend's diet more often, and occasionally the odd vegetable, but that was the end of it. Overall Dirk didn't take care of himself very well, he stayed up late at night and listened to his music far too loudly. He was prone to brooding and long bouts of silence, and at other times could go on and on about a single topic.

And yet. 

Every morning, like clockwork, Dirk would get up and take a shower for well over half an hour. Jake had teased him about it before, and even attempted to shower with him a few times. Dirk had gotten a nearly unnoticeable uncomfortable look in his eyes, yet was adamant about showering alone. So Jake planned his routine around that. If he couldn't have some fun with his boyfriend in the shower, then he'd get up and get ready with him. He loved seeing Dirk, towel around his waist, though his skin was red and nearly rubbed raw. Jake thought he must shower in incredibly hot water.

His incredibly hot boyfriend also looked damn diggity fine with his hair down, long and soft and dripping. He was always looking at him when they were brushing their teeth, Dirk half-naked and incredibly focused on his own face and hair. It was one of the few times Jake got to see him without his ridiculous anime shades. But then he'd muck up his hair by spiking it with all that product. 

Jake liked his boyfriend's hair better when it was down and natural, but he couldn't quite get up the nerve to tell him so. Instead, he'd joke about it and tease Dirk. 

Like this morning. 

"Jeepers, Strider, You're so dang dedicated to your irony." Jake huffed with a smirk, side-glancing as he pretended to comb his own hair. "You spend a downright preposterous amount of time on that fair noggin of yours." He expected Dirk to make one of his usually snappy comebacks, either stony-faced or with a small ironic smirk.

Instead, Dirk stilled in running his hands through his hair, stopped expertly shaping every individual spike. As usual, his expression was unreadable. 

"Irony is a fine craft, only the most dedicated and skilled bros can layer it in just the right way..." Dirk said quietly, and Jake braced himself for a long, tangential dicertatcion. Oh, what can of worms had he opened?

"...But, sometimes at the center of an awe-inspiring typhoon of righteous irony, there's a small eye of sincerity." He placed his hands on the countertop, still coated in gel, as he leaned forward and studied himself in the mirror. Jake raised an eyebrow. 

"And just what the friggity fuck is that supposed to mean?" Jake questioned. Dirk let himself smirk for just a moment, before falling flat again. He took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes. Dammit, Jake was confused as fuck. 

"I really try not to let it show," Dirk began slowly. "But... I don't like myself very much. Actually, I kind of really hate myself." Jake immediately wanted to interrupt, to protest. What could Dirk have to hate? He was downright wrong about himself, for cripes sake! But Dirk hurried on before he could get a word in. "I know, okay! It's largely irrational, I suppose. But I can't stop thinking it. It's like a loop going around and around in my head, and I can't turn it off and I don't know how to stop, and that just makes it worse." He gripped the edge of the counter tightly. Jake was rendered nearly speechless. But then Dirk let out a sigh. 

"So I don't really like the way I look, either." His voice was strained, as if he hated saying this out loud. "However... maybe this is self-absorbed, but I really like my hair. It's something I can control easily, and cleaning it and styling it is sort of... cathartic, I guess." Dirk actually smiled at himself in the mirror, small and genuine. Jake's stomach did flips at how cute it was. "I guess when I clean myself and get ready, I don't really think about anything else. I can focus on it. It helps me... cope with all the shitty thoughts dancing around in my head like an immortal, drunken clown. At least for a little while."

Jake just stared, trying to process everything he'd just heard and what it meant. First of all, he could never, ever, tell Dirk that he preferred his hair unstyled. Second, his mind might have just been changed anyway. Third and fourth and fifth, Dirk almost NEVER talked about his own feelings. Was he finally starting to trust him more?! When Dirk noticed his staring, he turned and got defensive. "What? God, I know that sounded stupid as fuck, but at least I'm self-aware enough to grasp that I'm a huge piece of shit." He actually had the gall to look embarrassed.

No. Jake was NOT going to let him regret opening up, even if it was only a little. He lunged forward and pulled his boyfriend into a tight hug. Dirk jerked and then stiffened. "You're not a huge piece of shit, Strider!" Jake said fiercely, and then quickly corrected himself. "Erm, at least I don't think so, and I know Jane and Roxy don't either!" He pulled his head back and could see his boyfriend visibly reddening, but did not release him. "You're strong and kind and you've saved all our asses! And you're a real catch to look at, to boot!"

Dirk could not meet his eyes. Instead he struggled. "Dude, you're messing up my hair. It hasn't dried yet!" But it was a half-hearted attempt. 

"Don't change the subject!" Jake admonished. He pulled Dirk in even more tightly. "I..." His own voice got quieter. "...really care about you." God, this whole emotions thing really was hard. "And... your hair looks great."

If all that he'd said was true, then Jake was actually happy that Dirk could find something he liked in himself. "I don't want you to hate yourself..."

Dirk stilled and pressed his face into Jake's neck. His voice was muffled when he spoke. "I'm sorry. I try really hard not to, but I guess I'm too much of a goddam asshole to even accomplish that much-" Jake dug his fingers into his boyfriend's back. "No! It's not... your fault, I don't think." He really didn't know too well, but maybe this was an actual problem? Like depression or some such? Maybe they could ask Rose about it...

As if he could read his mind, Dirk suddenly said "Don't tell anyone I said this stupid shit." Jake exhaled. Fine, maybe he could convince him later. 

"Of course not, love." Jake replied. After all, he couldn't disobey his Prince...


End file.
